There is no perfect relationship. It only exists in fairytales. It is not easy to understand how a relationship gets so damaged when it started so perfectly and happily. In fact, every relationship will face disappointing and unanticipated matters and there is nothing you can do to change it, but there are ways to properly deal with those matters without having to lose your relationship.
Here are some simple love-saving tips:
1. During an argument, keep one topic and don’t bring up past grievances.
It is important to have a sense of closure with past conflicts. Don’t hold on to issues that have already been resolved. When discussing a new topic, don’t bring up something involving a past problem. It is crucial to not bring up unrelated points of contention so that the issue at hand can be resolved. Adding a different issue into the argument won’t help you sort out the current problem, but rather will likely prolong the conflict and cause even more resentment with one or both partners.
2. Trust each other.
Trust is probably THE most important. To start a relationship, you don’t need to love the person. But no matter how far into the relationship you are, you need to trust them, or it’s not going to work.
3. Instead of attacking negative behavior, ask for positive changes.
In relationships, we often assume we all know there is to know about our partners. But people change. It is very easy to lose that connection, and not know where our partner is at now, or who they are now. In order to maintain a connection or to re-establish one, with your partner, you could:
- Take time to care for your relationship.
- Look at what is happening in the relationship.
- Stay curious (but respectful) about each other.
- Listen, and communicate your needs (and don’t wait for your partner to try to guess what is going on with you).
4. Respond directly to constructive criticism without making counter charges.
Listening to criticism makes you a better partner. You should take note, providing that it’s constructive. If you have a bad habit that your partner doesn’t like, speak about it, ask for forgiveness if need be and change what you are doing.
5. Listen to each other.
Both you and your partner have to cooperate by listening to each other’s standpoint of why the problem exists in the first place. Do not interrupt when the other is speaking because it shows lack of interest in what the other is saying and will only create more tension because it made them feel as if their words had no value. Ask the questions you feel are necessary to find the answers that will best explain how, why and where the problem may have come from. It is equally important for you to answer all your partner’s questions as well, so that he or she can understand things better, with you being able to open up and express yourself more about the issue as well.
6. Don’t compare.
Making a comparison between your partner and someone else doesn’t make your relationship healthy. Love them for who they are. Learning to accept your partner will bring more happy moments versus comparison and fault finding mentality.
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