We often see the advertisements on television for meeting the right person, mostly depicting beautiful women and attractive men finding each other and falling in love right away. Those who have experienced life on the plus side are well aware that our chances of finding Mr. or Ms. Perfect on a dating website are slim to none, considering that we get much less energy and interest generally speaking. However, once we have found the right person for us, the relationship information dwindles even more significantly.
Let’s face facts: Very few advice columns offer information or education that helps a plus size couple. It seems to be a taboo subject to think that anyone who is intimate can be plus sized, too, so sex advice especially is hard to come by. Here are some tips for spicing things up with your special someone, from a plus size perspective:
Be Realistic. There are many fun and interesting ideas for sexual fun and games out there, but some are just not doable for plus size people. However, there are dozens of lingerie shops that cater to larger couples, especially on the Internet, and most offer discreet shopping from the comfort of home. Do not get discouraged at the typical lingerie store that offers only sizes 0-10 in the most fashionable nighttime styles, find somewhere that has clothing that is sexy and attractive in your size.
The same goes for the many sex-help books available. Be realistic with yourself and each other about what you can and cannot do. Not everyone is attracted to role-playing games, even among the most beautiful people. If the atmosphere around this intimate time is stressed and strained, it loses much of the intimacy and enjoyment. Being realistic will keep things fun for both of you.
Stay Comfortable. No matter how much pressure to perform is out there, knowing each other’s limitations is important. This intimate time together is all about love, not pain or difficulty breathing. If something is too painful, or uncomfortable, never be afraid to tell your partner. True love is not about this type of sacrifice, and the only time pain should be a part of intimacy is when both partners are on board with the idea.
Focus on each other. Don’t worry about what society as a whole thinks of your intimate relationship. There is absolutely no reason that two plus size people should not enjoy each other just as much as any other couple. Rather than putting yourself through the anxiety of public opinion, focus on that special someone. Learn what makes them happy, and dedicate yourself to making each other feel special however you can.
Ignore conventional rules. Most people think that being intimate is all about what is going on in the bedroom. This false perception of love is not limited to the beautiful and thin couples out there, and, in fact, most plus size couples feel this even more keenly. Keep in mind that there is no unwritten rule that says you must be ready for the bedroom if you desire intimacy. If one or both of you is not ready for that step, don’t take it. There are other ways to develop an intimate bond without feeling pressured to have sex, especially early in the relationship.
Being a plus size couple has drawbacks, but as long as you are realistic, honest, and open with each other, there is no reason why the relationship cannot have just as much spice and romance as any other couple. Learn to do things together that develop intimacy, and build the relationship on solid ground, and enjoy having someone special to spend life with. Do not feel limited by society, or public opinion, or even Hollywood’s perception of what is romance.